He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
