The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
