My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
