totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
