actually, I'm a sock model
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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