I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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