Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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