I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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