Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
