More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
