yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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