Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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