can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
