If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
