The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize