in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
