Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
