That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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