Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
