We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
