So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
