he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We have so much sex to catch up on
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
