This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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