shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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