I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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