Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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