There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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