i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
