his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
