Where is the hickey?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
