I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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