you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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