I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
