Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
