I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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