My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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