ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
