ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
