So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
