p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
