K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
