I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
