hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize