Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I murdered the dance floor call the cops

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

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(559): View more from California

I queefed so loud it echoed.

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(925): View more from California

I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.

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(231): View more from Michigan

btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?

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(574): View more from Indiana

its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!

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