Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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