He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
