Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
