I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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