never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I wish there were birth control emojis
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
