All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
