Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
