in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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