i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
