areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
