Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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