:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
