It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm too high and old for this...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
