I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
