It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My life is pants optional.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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