Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
