fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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