yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
