i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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