the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You took a bar mat shot.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
