Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Damn victory sex feels great
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
